Cats vs. Dogs

Yesterday I pulled into the driveway, and Suijei (who was in the yard) suddenly began doing what she always does when we arrive home unexpectedly and she is caught loitering on the job -- she ran to the nearest tree and began barking at the squirrel who lives there. (After all, she must appear to be earning her keep by protecting us from potentially rabid rodents.) She was standing along the edge of our property which is lined with small Rose of Sharon bushes -- bushes that my youngest daughter planted 7 years ago. Actually, when she planted them they were nothing but twigs she had cut (or torn) from our other Rose of Sharon bushes. She dug evenly spaced holes, stuck these twigs in the ground, and watered them faithfully. I was certain they wouldn't grow -- after all, they were simply twigs with no roots and no leaves, and she planted them in an area that receives little direct sunlight. A couple of them were accidentally mowed over, but miraculously, the rest of them took root and grew. They eventually branched out and blossomed, and every summer we have pink and white Rose of Sharon blossoms. Seeing them reminds me of my sweet daughter and her determined optimism.

So. . . there was Suijei, standing between these bushes, barking furiously at a squirrel that she had probably awakened from his nap. Then, because she was frustrated at not being able to mutilate the squirrel, she decided to mutilate my bushes instead. She began chewing on and tearing off the lowest branches of two of my bushes. I thought about running over there and kicking her, but that was pointless. Even if I could run, and even if I could reach her before she ran away, and even if I could get in a kick or two, that wouldn't stop her from desecrating my bushes any other time I am not looking. It occurred to me that, that must be why my Rose of Sharon bushes look more like trees -- because she has chewed off the lower branches. I remembered how she chewed up a small lilac bush my children had given me for Mother's Day. I simply shook my head, sighed, and walked into the house feeling powerless. Someday, I told myself, she will be gone and I will have a real yard again. I hope I have a few bushes left by then.

So, with that in mind, I thought this would be a good time to explain why cats make better pets than dogs. Now mind you, I said "pets." I am fully aware that there are certain canine functions that cats simply cannot (or will not) perform -- attacking intruders, sniffing out drugs, guiding blind people, or herding sheep. But those animals are not truly "pets" -- they are serving as companions or work partners. I use the term "pet" to describe an animal that you keep for the sheer enjoyment or comfort that it brings -- not for the service it provides.

1) Cats do not leave piles of poop in the yard. They defecate in designated boxes in the house, and outside they do their business in a private spot and then bury it.
2) Cats do not sniff your crotch. And, they don't sniff each other's, either.
3) Cats do not stink. OK, maybe their litter box smells, but the animal itself does not smell. If I pet a cat, my hand does not smell when I am done.
4) Cats do not bark. Some may see this as a disadvantage, since barking alerts homeowners of intruders. Barking also alerts homeowners of squirrels in trees, cats walking by, mail carriers, children riding their bikes, neighbors walking their children, friends and family who may visit, oher dogs in the neighborhood that are barking, falling leaves, floating clouds, or whatever else moves.
5) Cats don't need to be bathed.
6) Cats don't lick your face (or your kids' faces). OK, some of you may think that is just oh-so-cute; I find it disgusting. I know where that tongue has been.
7) Kittens are much cuter and funnier than puppies. And they don't need to be housebroken.
8) Petting a cat has been shown to decrease blood pressure.
9) Owning a cat reduces your risk of dying of a heart attack or stroke. It's true!
10) Cats are independent. They can keep themselves occupied for hours with little attention or maintenance from you.
11) Cats do not attack. Of course, dog lovers will see this as a shortcoming, since cats won't attack intruders or muggers. On the other hand, cats will not attack their owners or their owners' children, either.
12) Cats are much gentler and more in control of their emotions. (Than dogs -- not people)