Good News, Bad News

Zoe showing us her "pretty face" (as opposed to her happy face, mean face, or sad face). This photo has nothing to do with anything, I just thought it might make you smile -- or make me smile.

So. . . the good news is that it was 62 degrees outside today! The bad news is that my yard no longer looks as nice as everyone else's yard.

I'm sorry I haven't written for a few days. I guess I've had "blogger's block." And I'm not feeling very witty today, either, so don't get your hopes up. I was feeling kind of sluggish, so when S. wanted to stop at Sheetz on the way to work, I went in and got an armload of energy drinks. Then, since I thought I also needed some protein, preservatives, and sodium, I also grabbed a jumbo-sized beef jerky. In the process, I knocked one beef jerky on the floor, and S. had to pick it up for me, since my arms were busy holding all my energy drinks. So, I set everything on the counter and paid for it all, and the cashier hesitated, then said, "Did you want a bag for that?" "Uh, yeah." Duh.

We pulled out onto the road, and I handed the vacuum-packed, hermetically-sealed beef jerky to S. to open for me (because I was driving, of course). After opening the package and peeling down the institutional-grade plastic, she decided to take a bite before handing it to me. (I know, don't you just hate it when people do that?) After one chew she uttered this sudden, involuntary noise (something between a squawk and a bark) and put her hand over her mouth. Fortunately, we were stopped at a light, which allowed her the opportunity to open her door and deposit the contents of her mouth onto the road. I can only wonder what the guy in the car behind us thought. She proclaimed, "Ugh! That is disgusting! Taste it!" And obediently, I did taste. It certainly didn't taste like any beef jerky I had ever eaten before, although I wasn't crude enough to open my car door and spit it onto the street -- maybe because the car was moving. "It tastes like . . . dog food." "That's what I thought, too," concurred S., her eyes now watering. "Not that I've ever tasted dog food, " I assured her. "But it tastes like what dog food smells like." She agreed. "Actually," I said, "it tastes like a dog's breath smells after he's eaten dog food." So, not wanting to litter, I tossed the rest of the jerky into the back seat with my energy drinks. When I got back home, Suijei (our resident canine) was sitting at her post atop the picnic table. Suijei isn't allowed to have people food, but this certainly wasn't fit for human consumption. I reasoned that since it tasted like dog food, maybe Suijei would like it, so I set a piece on the picnic table for her. It's still there.